Man's Best Friend

Gut-wrenching.  Welled-up eyes.  A heavy heart.

I know very well what it feels like to lose someone close to me.  The feeling that you get in the moment you find out is one that I will never forget; I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest.  I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't think clearly.  I really didn't know what to do next.

At age nine my family had to put down our sixteen year old cat, Buddy.  He was a fifteen pounds overweight and a diabetic.  It was the first time I ever experienced losing a pet.  My sister was super close with him, and I loved him, but not in the way she did.  It was harder for her to lose him than it was for me.

I had a thirteen year old golden retriever, Max.  He was the sweetest dog I have ever met.  Growing up, I would come home from school and be greeted by his kisses and barks.  Max has always been there for me, through family tragedy and warming my feet at dinner; I don't remember not having him.  He was reliable, loving, and most importantly, one of my best friends.

The beautiful and majestic Max.
Photo by Claire

For a while he hadn't been doing well.  His hips had been giving out and he hadn't been able to get up the stairs or easily go outside.  In the last few days, it has gotten significantly worse.  Max's favorite thing is to eat.  He didn't want to eat his dinner on Sunday or his breakfast on Monday.  He also didn't want to go outside which was one of his other favorite things.

What is the quality of life when you can't keep your food down or get up to look around at the beautiful world?  Because of this question that haunts us, my mom made the executive decision to put him down.

On Monday, all I thought about was Max and how much I love him.  I told my friends, Livi and Sadie, in science that we were putting him down.  To try and cheer me up they started to sing songs.  Then Livi started to sing, "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high..."  Max was my dad's best friend, and this song plays whenever my family thinks about my dad.  I know that Max will be with him, and that puts my heart at ease.

I am going to miss hearing the click of his toenails on my floor and loving looks.  I am going to miss my best friend who stayed with me when no one else would. I am going to miss the one thing that I don't remember living without.  I love you, Max-a-Million Breiholz.  I will never forget the amazing times we shared together.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."

A Promise

(L to R) Me, Dad, Mimi
Photo Courtesy of Mama Claire

It seems that all the time people are making promises.  Many people say that promises are meant to be broken.  After all, promises are usually outrageous, unreasonable deals you make with your friends or family.  Or when a boy tells a girl, "I promise I will always love you." And the next week they're not even together and the boy has a new girl.  Sometimes a person has no choice to break off their promise, no matter how much they want it to happen.  Sometimes things are out of our control.  

In my life, there is one promise that I will never forget being told.  In April of 2007, I remember hearing my dad say he had a business trip around the same time as my birthday.  This meant that he would not be home to celebrate the big ninth birthday with me.

I remember saying, "Daddy, promise me you'll never miss my birthday.  Ever?"

He had promised to do the very best he could.  This is the one promise I will never, ever forget. 

Three months later he passed away unexpectedly.  He has missed six birthdays since.  Like I said, sometimes things are out of our control.  I don't blame him for anything, but I wish that he was here to see me get older.

My dad and me in 2007
Photo Courtesy of Mama Claire

I see my friends celebrating with their families, practicing sports with their dads, calling them to say hi.  Inside, my soul is crying and my mind is racing with all of the reasons why I was given this challenge.  I don't forget promises.  I don't say the past should be forgotten for it will always be apart of me.  I don't ever give up.  What's the point in stopping at an obstacle when there is always a way around it?  My friend once said, "God needed a few good men up there and that is why he chose your dad."  I know he's up there watching me, and I will do everything in my power to make him proud. 

Dad, every time I go on a run, I hear you next to me telling to keep on going.  I feel our feet moving in sync and flying through the wind as one.  This year Running with Ed just so happens to be on May 18th.  Your birthday 49th birthday.  I promise to run with my whole heart and soul, and I know you'll be there with me as a run a total of 10 miles through Park City.  It is my way of telling the world, and you, that no matter what I am faced with, pain, sadness, injury, I will come out even better than before.  

Daddy, even if you can't keep your promise to be here for my birthday, I promise to always be here for yours.  See you there.

With love, 

Claire 

In Loving Memory of Jeff Breiholz

May 18, 1964-July 20, 2007

"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream,
Really do come true."

To Inspire

inspire |inˈspīr|

verb [ with obj. ]

1 fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative: [ with obj. and infinitive ] : his passion for romantic literature inspired him to begin writing.

• create (a feeling, esp. a positive one) in a person: their past record does not inspire confidence.

(definition courtesy of Apple Dictionary)

Inspiration can come from many different places.  Every single day we are surrounded by incredible people who do amazing things.  My friend, Livi, has a blog all about the little things that motivate her.   After reading a few of her posts, I realized that even the smallest things can really change how a person operates.

You're probably wondering why I am writing about inspiration.  The reason is that in order to be remember by anyone, you have to inspire.  This relates to being a babysitter because you will get NOWHERE if you aren't liked/admired by parents and children.  I want to be the babysitter that the kids remember having fun with and enjoying their time.  

Below is a list of things that inspire/motive me (not all of the things, and certainly not in order):

Marta, Emma, Me, Samantha
Photo Courtesy of Claire

1. My friends 
2. "The Hunger Games"
3. My teachers
4. The song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
5. My lacrosse coaches
6. The Biggest Loser (tv show)

Also, you're probably thinking I am a weirdo with that list... Especially with "The Hunger Games."  The reason it's included is because Katniss pushes aside every obstacle and makes her situation work.  I want to be like that, and I want to inspire people like she has.  

Overall, inspiration can be found anywhere, and I personally want to be someone who can inspire others.  The main reason I want to be a teacher is to make a difference in lives. In my case, I remember every teacher I've had because of all the things they taught me to do.  Each of them inspired me to want to be a great person.  The little things are the ones that we remember, and I have great memories of my teachers teaching me about life and school.

So, next time you're about to do something, little or big, remember that you have to power to make a difference.  

My Babysitters

Growing up I had lots of great babysitters.  Some were great, others not so much.  Here in Park City parents pay the big bucks for a sitter.  However, at the Breiholz household, my parents were a little more tight with their rates.  Often times, I wonder if that discouraged them from watching us... That's aside from the point; I'm going to share some of my favorite memories of hanging with my babysitters.

My most frequent sitter was Ashley.  I used to idolize her, and I honestly wanted to be her BFFL.

Here is a list of a few memories of our experiences:

This is Ashley and Me many years ago on July 4th
Photo Courtesy of Ms. Breiholz

1. Mimi lost her tooth. 
2. I spilled the mac n' cheese on the floor. 
3. I dumped a bucket of tiny beads on the floor after the mac n' cheese incident. 
4. My dog, Rubie, bit my face and Ashley laughed at me. 
5. Trying on Ashley's hand-me-down clothes. 
6. Jumping on her trampoline. 
7. Dancing in my family room. 
8. Begging her to stay up thirty more minutes.
9. Playing Littlest Pet Shops. 

There are many more things I could recall from her watching me, but I am going to leave it at that.  Ashley experienced the best and the worst of Mimi and me.  I must admit that I was the pleasant child to watch... My sister was quite the nightmare.  I remember that Mimi bit another one of our babysitters and then sat in the corner of her room screaming for the evening.  Yet, when my mom would arrive home, she would tattle on me. AS IF I DID ANYTHING!!!

Thinking about my past babysitters makes me wonder what the kids I watch think of me.  I hope that when they're my age they remember the pleasant teenage girl who would spend her "free" evenings watching them play video games or (pretend to be) enjoying a quick round of UNO.  For now, I will act as nice as possible to ensure that I am remembered in a positive way.

Ideas for next weeks post?  Please comment below.

A Teacher in Training

This week, I wanted to write a post about my dream/hope for my future.

Not a day goes by that I don't want to be a teacher.  Ever since childhood, I've wanted to be in the field of education.  I guess you could say it runs in the family as my grammie, my uncle, and my mom are all teachers.  I appreciate my personal teachers because they put so much work into their jobs.  Not only is it one of the most rewarding jobs, but it requires so much energy and love.

A common remark I get when expressing this is that I won't make any money.  To me, this is so stupid to say.  I don't care about money as much as I care about making a difference.  With this being said, I do think that teachers are extremely underpaid for all of the work they do.  After all, they're the ones who supply the workforce with knowledgeable, well-rounded, hard-working workers.  Money may make some people happy, but it is not what makes my world go round.

On another note, I am so lucky to know Kathy Anderson.  She is the Park City School District Preschool Coordinator and also teaches three year old preschool at McPolin Elementary.  In eighth grade, I was able to be her "TA" (teacher aid).  I spent 130 minutes on every white day in her classroom, and I would eat lunch during their snack; it was the best time I can remember.  

It was practically project based learning because I was able to have a look on what it's like to be a real teacher.  Kathy taught me so much about patience, differentiating, and most importantly love.  She loves her job so much, and it's so obvious because the kids adore her.  During my elementary years, I had Kathy as a reading teacher and to this day I remember how much fun it was.

McPolin 3 yr. old class '11-'12
Photo Courtesy of Kathy Anderson

Myself and "L" during recess
Photo Courtesy of Kathy Anderson

As you can see above, I LOVE these children.  I invested my whole heart in their wellbeing and understanding of the lessons, games, etc.  This led me to take online PE this year so I could have an open period...  You can already guess what I did with that; TA for Kathy!!  Unfortunately, I am there for fifteen minutes of the morning class and twenty-five minutes with the afternoon.  Yet, I have decided to look on the bright side and remember how much I want this to be my future job.

Overall, I cannot wait until the day that I can make a difference in the lives of children.  What more is there to life?

Parents: A Blessing in Disguise

A parent is someone who embarrasses their children every chance they get, makes three meals a day, nags about the same stuff constantly, and no matter what, loves unconditionally.  I am a lucky girl to have such a wonderful family.  Even if we disagree frequently, I will admit that my mom is the strongest, happiest, most generous person I have ever met.  She is a second grade teacher and puts so much love and work into her job.  One day, when I'm a teacher I hope to be as great as her.  Then there's my sister.  She is a handful, but has her lovely moments.  (Oh, you may be wondering why I am not sharing a story about babysitting... My reason is to simply express my thanks to my great life during this holiday season.)

Let's get started with ten reasons why I love my family:

1.) I was given a "pony ride" practically every night until I was too heavy for my dad's back.

May 2003. Photo by Melinda

2.) No matter what, I am loved unconditionally.

1998. Photo by Melinda

3.) My family tolerates me even when they know that I am a crazy nut.

2000.  Photo by Melinda

4.) I am allowed to pursue my interests.

Spring Championships 2012.  Photo Courtesy of Julie Shipman.

5.)  My mom cares so much about me and wants me to succeed in everything I do.  A great example is teaching me to ski...

 Photo by Jeff. 

6.) I am allowed to blow out the birthday candles even if it isn't my birthday. 

 May 2003. Photo by Melinda.

7.) I am taken on amazing vacations where I am able to experience new cultures.    

April 2012.  Photo by Nancy.

8.)  My sister, Mimi, may be a pain but I would be so bored without her! 

2001.  Photo by Melinda.

9.) Happiness is easily achieved.

November 2012. Photo by Mimi.

10.) Crazy ideas are never turned away.  Below are pictures of a Christmas tree that we cut from our yard.  And yes, it was almost as tall as the ceiling and was leaning on a chair so it didn't fall.

Christmas 2009.  Photos by Melinda.  

To conclude this all, Mama Claire would not be here without tips, tricks, and love from her parents.


***For my next post, I will be writing tips for babysitters.  Please comment below with things you need help with or would like to know about.
P.S. Thanks for the idea, Micaela.  :)

Observation Diary #1: The Sweet Ignorance of Childhood

Is ignorance bliss?  Some of you would say no, yes, or (like myself) would say sometimes.   Looking back at my childhood, I remember being so ignorant.  This is for the simple reason that I was not aware of the true struggles life throws in the mix of other things that cause a great deal of stress.  As a young girl, I thought that everything would work out perfectly in the end.  However, I know think that it is better to have all of the knowledge possible.  By knowing, you can understand why things happen the way they do.  You can also have a realistic grasp of the world.  Now I will share with you one of the most angering experiences I experienced while babysitting Smiley and Pierre which so clearly explains what I am talking about above...

Here in Utah the air is extremely dry which causes many people to have dry skin.  Pierre happens to be one of those unlucky people.  We had gotten back from swimming and I remember that Rainbow told me to apply lotion on Pierre's cheeks. (Note, Rainbow is the code name for their mom because she is happy, and loves to change her hair color frequently)

Being the responsible person that I am, I said, "Pierre, we need to put lotion on your cheeks so that the dryness will go down."

Original Graphic by Claire

"WHY!!!!!?????" was his response.

Through a deep breath I explained, "You don't want your skin to get red or irritated!"

"But your skin has a bunch of bright red dots everywhere," Pierre beamed proudly at me.

In case you didn't already figure out what these "red dots" are, they are acne.  Like many teenagers, I am acne prone.  The frustrating part about it is that I have tried so hard to get "rid" of it.  Nothing has worked for my red dotty skin.  Yet, everyday I put a false smile on my face and pretend it isn't there.

When Pierre said this I was fighting back tears and put on my infamous false smile.  Afterwards, I really thought about why he had said this to me in the first place.  For starters he is ignorant to other people's feelings as most six year olds are; a fourteen year old would never say this!  During childhood, you don't bother to think about how your words can effect others in the long run.  I really wish Pierre had thought before he spoke because every time I look in the mirror I remember his words.

Overall, that simple conversation between us has never left me.  I carry the rude message everywhere I go.  I've also learned that childhood is so great because you aren't thinking about the impacts of your actions.  Little kids rarely over-think the context of their sentences.  Also, I realized how badly I want to go back to being six were I didn't have hours of homework, social drama, having to play sports for graduation credit, writing essays, memorizing countries and so much more.  Man oh man, I miss the sweet ignorance of childhood.